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	<title>Daily Quotes &#187; Jokes</title>
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		<title>Funny Church Signs</title>
		<link>http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/2011/09/funny-church-signs/</link>
		<comments>http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/2011/09/funny-church-signs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Sep 2011 07:00:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/?p=504</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We interrupt our regularly scheduled facts and quotes to bring you some funny church signs.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>We don&#8217;t know about the future, but these are the funniest church signs around, pastor present:</p>
<p>A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.<br />
Are you wrinkled with burden? Come on into Church for a faith lift!<br />
Wal-Mart isn&#8217;t the only saving place!<br />
Can&#8217;t Sleep?  Try counting your blessings.<br />
Forbidden fruit creates many jams<br />
It&#8217;s hard to stumble when you&#8217;re down on your knees.<br />
God&#8217;s last name isn&#8217;t Damn.</p>
<p>And a bonus joke:</p>
<p>A rabbi, a priest, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says &#8220;What is this, a JOKE?&#8221;</p>
<p><a href="http://instantrimshot.com/classic/?sound=rimshot" target="_blank">Rimshot</a></p>
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		<title>Indigenous Wisdom</title>
		<link>http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/2011/05/indigenous-wisdom/</link>
		<comments>http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/2011/05/indigenous-wisdom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 May 2011 07:00:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Proverbs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/?p=280</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In case you're tired of what rich white guys said.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>If you&#8217;re paying attention, you&#8217;ll notice that most of what educated westerners are famous for saying is copped pretty directly from folk wisdom or the sayings of native peoples. Here are some Native American quotes and proverbs. Some of dubious origin, just for fun.</p>
<p>We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.<br />
-Native American Proverb</p>
<p>Lose your temper and you lose a friend; lie and you lose yourself.<br />
-Hopi Proverb</p>
<p><strong>This one actually sounds more like it might be from a Bruce Lee movie:</strong></p>
<p>It is better to have less thunder in the mouth and more lightning in the hand.<br />
-Native American Proverb</p>
<p><strong>But these are painfully on the mark:</strong></p>
<p>They made us many promises, more than I can remember, but they kept only one; they promised to take our land, and they did.<br />
-Red Cloud</p>
<p>Brother, you say there is but one way to worship and serve the Great Spirit. If there is but one religion, why do you white people differ so much about it? Why not all agreed, as you can all read the Book?<br />
-Sogoyewapha</p>
<p>Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.<br />
-Chief Seattle</p>
<p><strong>This one is often found in collections of quotations, but is probably in fact part of an old joke:</strong></p>
<p>When the white man discovered this country Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, women did all the work.  White man thought he could improve on a system like this.<br />
-Cherokee Saying  (?)</p>
<p><strong>And this story is so hilarious you WANT to believe it.</strong>..</p>
<p>When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project,they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated, &#8220;What are these guys in the big suits doing?&#8221;</p>
<p>A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate it. He refused.</p>
<p>So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder&#8217;s message to the moon.</p>
<p>Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. He reported that the moon message said, &#8220;Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land.&#8221;</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Sometimes It&#8217;s The Little Things</title>
		<link>http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/2011/03/sometimes-its-the-little-things/</link>
		<comments>http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/2011/03/sometimes-its-the-little-things/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Mar 2011 05:04:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/?p=145</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Why we don't have a motivational quote for you this week.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>We try to start your week with a quote to get you going each Monday, but this week a small tragedy occurred on the way to our quote management headquarters. You see, I was riding with a friend this morning when she rear-ended another car. Everyone was okay, but I have to admit I was a little ashamed that I laughed when a dwarf got out of the other car. He walked over with an angry look on his face, and my friend rolled down her window. The guy said &#8220;I AM NOT HAPPY!&#8221; My friend was quiet for a second and finally said &#8220;Which one are you then?&#8221;</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Is The Man Busting Your Hump?</title>
		<link>http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/2011/03/is-the-man-busting-your-hump/</link>
		<comments>http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/2011/03/is-the-man-busting-your-hump/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Mar 2011 16:15:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://amusingenterprises.com/quotes/?p=137</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sometimes, all you need is a few laughs to get through the middle of the week.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A Teabagger, Union Member and a CEO are sitting at a table with a dozen cookies. The CEO immediately takes 11 cookies for himself. The CEO then turns to the teabagger and says, &#8220;Watch out for that union guy he wants part of your cookie.&#8221;</p>
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