Whenever someone asks me why I’m not married, I walk them over to my refrigerator, where I have these quotes attached to the side:

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
-H.L. Mencken

Vesper Lynd: Am I going to have a problem with you, Mr. Bond?
James Bond: No, don’t worry, you’re not my type.
Vesper Lynd: Smart?
James Bond: Single.

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
-Oscar Wilde

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-Oscar Wilde

“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.”
H.L. Mencken

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
-Albert Einstein

To marry a woman who you love and who loves you is to lay a wager with her as to who will stop loving the other first.
-Albert Camus

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
-H.L. Mencken

In marriage, it is declared, one is still possessed of reason. The seizure of passionate love can be, in such a context, only illicit, breaking in upon the order of one’s dutiful life in virtue as a devastating storm.
-Joseph Campbell