Live every week like it’s Shark Week.
- Tracy Jordan of 30 Rock

Dress every day like you’re going to get murdered in those clothes.
- Tracy Jordan of 30 Rock

What is this, Horseville? Because I’m surrounded by naysayers.
- Tracy Jordan of 30 Rock

You want to make God laugh? Make a plan. Or read him a Dave Barry book.
- Tracy Jordan of 30 Rock

It’s like a black Barbie doll in Arizona: Nobody’s buying it.
- Tracy Jordan of 30 Rock

If I have a strawberry, my throat closes up faster than a girl in math class.
- Kenneth

Lovers. That word bums me out unless its between the words “Meat” and “Pizza”
- Liz Lemon of 30 Rock