As we all now know, the legendary Portuguese explorer was just that. Only a legend. He wasn’t even Portuguese!

These people are very unskilled in arms… with 50 men they could all be subjected and made to do all that one wished.
- Christopher Columbus

And so he did.

By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination.
- Christopher Columbus

Especially if you call it India when it’s the yet-to-be-named North America.

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps.
- Christopher Columbus

Which is why I ended up thinking I was all the way on the other side of the world when I wasn’t.

Gold is a treasure, and he who possesses it does all he wishes to in this world, and succeeds in helping souls into paradise.
- Christopher Columbus

Mostly by killing them for it.