With Halloween approaching, what better time to get back to our highlights from The Devil’s Dictionary? If I’m not mistaken, we left off at the letter “H”.

Ignoramus, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

Immigrant, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

Impartial, adj. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting opinions.

Impunity, n. Wealth.

Infancy, n. The period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth, “Heaven lies about us.” The world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

Insurance, n. An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

Intimacy, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.

Justice, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.