We’re continuing our highlights from The Devil’s Dictionary this week.

KILL, v.t. To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a “crowned head,” although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

LABOR, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.

LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another’s treasure.

LAWFUL, adj. Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction.

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

LONGEVITY, n. Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

LITIGATION, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

LITIGANT, n. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

LIBERTY, n. One of Imagination’s most precious possessions.

LEARNING, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

LAZINESS, n. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.