I love Thanksgiving turkey.  It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday.  People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year.  And then discover once a year is way too often.
- Johnny Carson

Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
- P. J. O’Rourke

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.  They are consumed in twelve minutes.  Half-times take twelve minutes.  This is not coincidence.
- Erma Bombeck

On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment – halftime.
- Author Unknown

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
- Ambrose Bierce