I clearly remember as a kid enjoying Andy Rooney’s segment on 60 Minutes. It was the only one that made sense. And as I grew older, and finally understood the more adult topics being discussed on the rest of the show, this became even more true. Rest in peace, Mr. Rooney. Your wry wit will be missed…

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
- Andy Rooney

I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
- Andy Rooney

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
- Andy Rooney

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
- Andy Rooney

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
- Andy Rooney

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can’t eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as ‘progress’, doesn’t spread.
- Andy Rooney

Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
- Andy Rooney

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
- Andy Rooney