Only eight more letters to go in our ongoing highlights from The Devil’s Dictionary. We promise not to do this again in 2012!

RANSOM, n. The purchase of that which neither belongs to the seller, nor can belong to the buyer. The most unprofitable of investments.

RASH, adj. Insensible to the value of our advice.

RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, Homo ventrambulans.

REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.

RECONSIDER, v. To seek a justification for a decision already made.

RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

RECRUIT, n. A person distinguishable from a civilian by his uniform and from a soldier by his gait.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.

RESIDENT, adj. Unable to leave.

RESPECTABILITY, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.

RESPONSIBILITY, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor.

RETALIATION, n. The natural rock upon which is reared the Temple of Law.

REVELATION, n. A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.

REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

RIOT, n. A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal.