I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
- Seinfield

I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?
- Seinfield

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
- Seinfield

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
- Seinfield

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?
- Seinfield

(We didn’t actually verify that these were all from the show, so feel free to correct us in the comments.)