This wraps up this week’s highlights from The Devil’s Dictionary.

PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.

PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

PLEASE, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition.

POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

PRECEDENT, n. In Law, a previous decision, rule or practice which, in the absence of a definite statute, has whatever force and authority a Judge may choose to give it, thereby greatly simplifying his task of doing as he pleases.

PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.

PRESCRIPTION, n. A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

PRESENT, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes.

PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.

PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.