Benchley may have been a little less quotable than some other Algonquin Wits, but expressed his humor constantly in real life, like the time he submitted a magazine piece titled “I Like to Loaf” two weeks after deadline, explaining “I was loafing”.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.
- Robert Benchley

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
- Robert Benchley

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.
- Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
- Robert Benchley

I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry.
- Robert Benchley