When I was four or five, my mother taught me the little game where you pull petals from a daisy saying: “she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not” until all the petals are gone. I’ve often thanked her silently for teaching me about the unpredictability of women at such an early age. With Valentine’s Day just a couple of weeks away, I thought we’d share a few quotes you won’t see in a Valentine’s Day card….

French is the language that turns dirt into romance.
-Stephen King

Romance is dead – it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
-Yeardley Smith

They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.
-Oscar Wild

Romance, like the rabbit at the dog track, is the elusive, fake, and never attained reward which, for the benefit and amusement of our masters, keeps us running and thinking in safe circles
-Beverly Jones

Forget love – I’d rather fall in chocolate!
-Sandra J. Dykes