For the last few months we’ve been excerpting the Devil’s Dictionary. Next week we’ll explain why. Stay tuned.

UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

UN-AMERICAN, adj. Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.

UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house.

VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.

VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.