The passing of legendary Hollywood star Liz Taylor made me ponder how different the world might be if we accorded the living the same respect as the deceased. While many said kind things about Ms. Taylor yesterday, it was more common in her later years for people to do quite the opposite:

Elizabeth Taylor looks like two small boys fighting underneath a thick blanket.
- Richard Blackwell, Fashion Critic

But when it comes to Hollywood producers, the old rule that it is in extremely poor taste to speak unkindly of the dead goes out the window:

The only reason so many people showed up was to make sure that he was dead.
- Sam Goldwyn, on Louis B Meyer’s Funeral

Well, it only proves what they always say – give the people what they want, and they’ll come out for it.
- Red Skelton, on Harry Cohn’s Funeral

By the way, if you sometimes find yourself running out of nasty things to say, the quotes above are from the book The 776 Nastiest Things Ever Said

As a catcher, Yogi Berra is more often associated with umps than humps, but he said a lot of funny and inspiring stuff:

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
-Yogi Berra

To be quoted as often as he was, Oscar Wilde must have talked a heck of a lot

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.
-Oscar Wilde

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.
-Oscar Wilde

“Better Never Than Late”, or so said George Bernard Shaw. We got a late start on our Monday motivator, but knew we could count on Oscar Wilde to bail us out:

He was always late on principle, his principle being that punctuality is the thief of time.
- Oscar Wilde

Just a few more quickies on being late, because we’re running late:

He that rises late must trot all day.
-Benjamin Franklin

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
-E. V. Lucas

Why do they put the Gideon bibles only in the bedrooms, where it’s usually too late?
-Christopher Morley

The answer to  last week’s question is below, but first…

This Saturday, the full Moon will appear larger than it has since 1993, thanks to what is called the Perigee Moon, the period when the moon is closest to Earth in its elliptical orbit. Many people don’t realize that when the moon looms large on the horizon as it rises, that this is just an optical illusion caused by the fact that the horizon presents objects for reference. It only looks smaller as it rises because it’s isolated in all that emptiness! Here a few more fun moon facts:

When Alan Sheppard was on the moon, he hit a golf ball and drove it 2,400 feet, nearly one half a mile.

Apollo 11 had only 20 seconds of fuel left when they landed on the moon.

The moon rotates at 10 miles per hour compared to the Earth’s 1000 miles per hour.

Answer To Last Week’s Question:
Yes. But no-one seems to want to risk their multimillion dollar vehicle to prove it.

It’s been a rough week for global markets. Here’s a simple quote to keep in mind:

No pressure, no diamonds.
-Thomas Carlyle

Sometimes the middle of the week can seem like an insurmountable peak, but maybe you shouldn’t look at such a big picture:

It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out, it’s the pebble in your shoe.
-Muhammad Ali

The scientists and sages who suggest that time doesn’t exist obviously don’t get paid by the hour, or have to deal with lawyers very often. What’s probably most important about time is your attitude toward it, which can range from the lighthearted to the downright gruesome:

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
- Ford Prefect, in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams

Time is the fire in which we burn.
-Delmore Schwartz in “Calmly We Walk Through This April’s Day”

We try to start your week with a quote to get you going each Monday, but this week a small tragedy occurred on the way to our quote management headquarters. You see, I was riding with a friend this morning when she rear-ended another car. Everyone was okay, but I have to admit I was a little ashamed that I laughed when a dwarf got out of the other car. He walked over with an angry look on his face, and my friend rolled down her window. The guy said “I AM NOT HAPPY!” My friend was quiet for a second and finally said “Which one are you then?”

We’ll have the answer next week. The question?

Can a Formula One or Indy car drive up upside-down?